Updated: Aug 13, 2021
So often I hear people in their early 20’s saying “I’m not where I should be for my age. I should have done this this and this” listing off a never ending record of accomplishments they “should have” already had under their belts. We get into our 20’s and we’re suddenly adults and we’re hit with the harsh reality of the world around us.
I used to really beat myself up over where I was in life. I didn’t go to college at 17 like most of the people I knew. I remember watching everyone be so happy all around me as they were being accepted into schools of their choices and starting their futures, while I was just too busy surviving that night to think about a future after 18. I felt like a failure for a long time because I thought that I had already missed the expected timeline of going to post secondary right from highschool. I was told that I would regret taking time off of school, and that I would never go back if I didn’t go straight into college. But I didn’t graduate from a mainstream school. I had to figure out life while doing 14 and a half school credits at once. I needed to be in a school that could accommodate me and my life. However they made it a point to tell me it was impossible and that I couldn’t pursue my goals the whole way through.
At my graduation I had nobody in the audience. When I walked across the low budget stage with no cap and gown and faced the principle, all i could say is “thank you for not believing that i could be here today.”
I continued to beat myself up over and over for all the things society made me feel ashamed about. I didn’t graduate from a regular school. BUT I GRADUATED. I didn’t go to college at 17. BUT I LIVED TO CHANGE MY LIFE. Theres so many things that we beat ourselves up for, and we aren’t willing to see the things that we have accomplished in our life. At the root of it all, whether you’re religious or not, we were all put on this earth to live, and to breathe. And as long as we are doing exactly that, then we are exactly where we should be. It has taken roughly 5 years to understand that MY timeline has nothing to do with others. Everyone grows at their own pace, and if you didn’t have the means to do the things that others did when they did it, that is not a reason to beat yourself up.
You need to understand that life isn’t happening to you it’s happening for you and everything meant for you will happen in its own time. You cannot be expected to do the same things everyone else does if you are not in the same place yourself. Dont squeeze yourself into a cookie cutter because you want to be exactly like everyone else. If you have a life far too crazy to take on a career and school — take care of yourself first.
At the end of the day, you have you. You cannot spend your life looking at everyone else and comparing yourself. Do what is right for your life, when it is right. Dont let anyone tell you when you should be ready. So many say they are not where they should be. And I say that you are where you were always meant to be.