You Made Me Believe.

For anyone that has followed my posts on here (haha nobody.), I made a post not too long ago about a blanket that my mother made me, hung on this window. I said in that post that “only God knew” how Christopher got that up there.

Now I didn't grow up in a religious household by any means. Neither of my parents believed in any religion, and never baptized me because they wanted me to be able to make my own choice. I went to catholic school because it was convenient for me to walk, as babysitters were expensive and my dad was a single dad raising me alone. I learned a lot but it never meant anything to me because I grew up being taught that “there is no God because if there was a God he wouldn’t allow bad things to happen to good people.” I wasn’t allowed to say “bless you” when someone sneezed, because there was no religion talk in our house. So because it was unspoken, I never really cared to talk about it. until I met Christopher. My protector. (That will make sense soon.) Christopher wears a gold cross around his neck everyday, and values me like God intended men to treat their woman. I started really believing in God when I fell so deeply in love that i was praying to him everyday to keep my sweetheart safe. I wouldn’t even tell him that I did that..

It was just between God and myself. I would lay on Christopher’s chest and hold his cross and pray for him. Pray that I get to see him safe everyday. Pray that he’s safe at work and on the way home. For our six months he got me a Saint Christopher necklace. The Saint that he was named after. He got me this because I wanted a necklace with his name, and he wanted to get me something to keep me safe. A protector. I haven’t ever taken it off, and i always find myself touching it while thinking about him. Maybe bad things happen in our lives to help us grow, and change, and get stronger. Perhaps God is responsible for all the joy in life, like finding genuine love, or finding hope and continuous strength. Everyday I am finding new things that I love about life. I am on an amazing path to recovery, although healing is a lifetime commitment — I’m finally receptive to change, and growth. Here’s to the last month of 2019, which has turned out to be the best year of my life. Which is crazy considering I know that next year is going to be a million times better. Thank you God.

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